Kougyoku de Bergerac, or OPERATION: Romcom Ending
by dragonofeternal
Summary: "He's turned over a new leaf," Kougyoku promised, "You'll be impressed." Kougyoku sets Hakuryuu up on a date with Judal, but she and Judal have some tricks up their sleeve to make the date go perfectly. Perhaps feeding Judal lines wasn't the best idea though...


Hakuryuu wasn't entirely sure he'd made the best decision when he agreed to this. Judal grinned at him as he climbed out of Kougyoku's car, waving wildly. He's turned over a new leaf, Kougyoku had promised, You'll be impressed. The only thing impressing Hakuryuu right now was the fact that Judal had somehow managed to still own the same damn black sweatpants he'd had the last time they had attempted to go on a date, and that he still insisted on wearing them with croptops despite the weather.

"Hello, Judal," Hakuryuu said flatly, offering his hand. Judal ignored it in favor of a hug, slapping Hakuryuu on the back.

"You ready to have a kickass time?" he said when he pulled back, offering a signature shark toothed grin.

Hakuryuu removed the hand lingering on his shoulder and gently returned it to Judal. "It's just lunch. And we'll see." All he was seeing so far was that this had probably been a mistake. If Judal was his rebound from Morgiana, Hakuryuu was starting to see why people said you shouldn't date right after a breakup.

Kougyoku smiled at both of them. "Aaaah! You two look so cute!" She scampered over to give Judal a big hug. "You guys have fun, okay?"

"Well, I'm here, so Hakuryuu's about to have the most fun he's had in months, I'm sure." Kougyoku shot him a look, and Judal laughed it off. "I'll see you later, Kougyoku."

And with that, Judal grabbed Hakuryuu's hand and dragged him off down the street. Kougyoku stood there, waving for a bit before she climbed back into her car. Kougyoku sighed and then grinned. "All right. Phase one is complete." She turned the car on and looped it around the block once in the opposite direction Judal had gone before turning around and driving to the cafe Judal and Hakuryuu had agreed on when she'd set this date up. She grabbed her phone and her binoculars and trooped over to the neighboring Starbucks to order a venti latte. Time for Phase Two to begin.

* * *

I know exactly how to make it work, Kougyoku had promised, Just leave everything to me! Judal wasn't sure what fit of desperation had made him agree to taking her help- the hag was notoriously unlucky in love, and all her advice came from movies and shitty YA fantasy-romances. But she was his friend, and he was desperate. He glanced around, hoping both that she would be somewhere he could see her so he could have the moral support and that she'd be out of sight so his cover wouldn't get blown.

His phone buzzed in his pocket as they sat down at their table. Judal glanced at the screen.

 **I'M IN POSITION! (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ***

Judal thumbed out a quick reply. **where the hlel are u?**

 **Starbucks next door! I'm just on the other side of the bush you're sitting by!  
I can hear Hakuryuu loud and clear! Just leave everything to me!**

Hakuryuu raised his eyebrows. Of course Judal was going to spend the entire date playing on his phone. He should have expected that he'd be low priority for someone with such a mindlessly distracted social calendar. "So what have you been up to, Judal? It's been awhile since we talked."

Judal looked up from his phone. "Oh, you know, this and that. I'm doing an apprenticeship right now."

Hakuryuu raised his eyebrows, looking a little bit surprised. "Oh? What in?"

"Tattoos."

Hakuryuu rolled his eyes. "Of course you would-"

Judal's phone lit up, and he glanced at it. A correction from Kougyoku. "Kidding! Jewelry making! You know how I like to get your goat."

"Oh." Hakuryuu took a sip of water as the waiter set down their glasses. "That's almost respectable. Is there a lot of money in that?"

"Loads, I'm sure," Judal bullshitted. "Silver and gold and all that stuff. You know how much your mother and cousins spend on that crap. I'm just getting in on the rich lady pie."

Hakuryuu smiled a little bit. "You say that as if you don't know yourself." He gestured at Judal's bracelets, and Judal waved a hand.

"Naaah, for the most part I just buy cheap costume crap because you can get more that way." He shrugged. "Why pay a ton for one shitty ring when I could get a million of 'em for like ten bucks at Glitter in the mall?"

"You're impossible." The disparagement was fond though. Hakuryuu was falling for him, or, at least, for the trick he and Kougyoku were pulling. "So what do you want to eat?"

* * *

Kougyoku had her work cut out for her, but her fingers were fast and her ears sharp. Listening through the bush, she was able to make out their whole conversation and guide Judal on the right things to say. She had witty responses and stories for Judal to tell that would make Hakuryuu laugh, and sensitive, thoughtful answers to Hakuryuu's more insightful questions. They'd worked on them the night before, her and Judal, staying up late into the evening crafting a Judal that Hakuryuu would like, and that he wouldn't mind being too much.

Her latte was going cold, sitting almost entirely untouched on the table. Texting answers to Judal was far more engaging. Hakuryuu asked what Judal was planning to do when the new year rolled around, and Judal answered before Kougyoku even had a chance to come up with a response for him- he was planning on maybe trying to read a few more books. She was so proud. He knew exactly what to say to make Hakuryuu happy.

It might not be the best way, but they seemed to be getting along and talking again. The rest could follow after. Kougyoku smiled, and congratulated herself on a job well done.

"You know what, just forget this, Judal. It isn't working."

* * *

"Wait, what?!" Judal started so hard he spilled his peach soda everywhere. "What do you mean? Aren't you having a good time?"

Hakuryuu got up from the table and began to gather his things. "When Kougyoku said you'd turned over a new leaf, I didn't think that meant that you decided to lie about everything as a way to get your friends back. I thought you had enough integrity not to lie about who you were." Hakuryuu fished in his pockets and put a twenty down on the table. "That ought to cover my meal and the tip. Have a nice life, Judal, whatever it is you're really doing with it."

"Hakuryuu, wait-" Judal jumped up from the table and followed after him. "Shit, look, you're right, I'm sorry, I-"

"I don't care, Judal. I don't want to hear it."

"Please, Hakuryuu-"

"Please, what, Judal?" Hakuryuu finally turned around to glare at him. Hakuryuu's face was flushed with emotion, and knowing that everyone that everyone in the restaurant was staring made it a thousand times worse. Judal swallowed and looked away, unable to hold Hakuryuu's gaze. "I thought so."

"I…" Judal's voice was weirdly choked, free of his usual boisterous bragging. It made Hakuryuu stay a moment longer. "I'm sorry for yanking your chain around with all the bullshit. I. I really want to unfuck our friendship, at the very least, and so I went around acting like some stupid romantic comedy movie and being someone I wasn't, cuz I thought it would be funny I guess. Well not funny, but make you like me. It's why I was fucking around on my phone the whole meal. I was figuring out my answers."

"And why the hell," Hakuryuu said slowly, "would I want to be with someone who acts like a stupid romantic comedy?"

"Because I know you've seen A Walk to Remember like a hundred times, and you still always cry at the end," Judal replied plainly.

Hakuryuu's blush deepened even more. "That's- I…" He crossed his arms and huffed. "A Walk to Remember is not a romcom."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Judal finally looked back over at Hakuryuu and offered him an awkward smile. "I did actually mean it about reading more books in the new year, but I'm not actually apprenticing for jewelry making. I'm doing tattoos."

Hakuryuu sighed. "Well, that sounds more like something you would enjoy anyway. You love causing people pain."

"And you continue to enjoy being shitty at jokes," Judal countered.

Hakuryuu actually grinned back at him then. "You get my humor, though."

"It's my fault!" Kougyoku wailed as she burst into the restaurant. "Please don't be mad at Judal, Hakuryuu, I was the one coming up with-" She stopped in her tracks, and Judal and Hakuryuu turned to look at her. "Oh. Um, you seem to have worked it out." She brushed off her sundress and looked around herself awkwardly. "I'll, uh, leave you to that then."

Hakuryuu nodded. "Right. I'll, I'll talk to you later Kougyoku."

Judal scratched the back of his head and awkwardly glanced back at Hakuryuu. "Right… So whaddya say we call this one a bust and try again another day. Like in a not trying to be somebody I'm not sorta way." He held out a hand.

Hakuryuu regarded it warily before taking it in a firm shake. "Fine. But next time we're seeing a movie, so that the only badly thought out lines will be coming from the actors, not you."


End file.
